


(Trying Our) Best

by Rosevine6761



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Canon Rewrite, Extended Scene, Gen, Glimmer Needs a Hug (She-Ra), Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Queen Glimmer (She-Ra), She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 4 Spoilers, don't worry they get them, implied catradora if you squint, kind of, never say the word fix to glimmer again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 23:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30029331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosevine6761/pseuds/Rosevine6761
Summary: Her mind had found its ammunition, and for just a second, less than that even, Glimmer wanted Adora to hurt like she did.“Well, maybeyour bestisn’t good enough. If it was, my mother would still be here!”It took Glimmer less than a second to realize what she’d just said. But she hated herself for taking that long. She was horrified by what she said. And she was even more horrified once she saw the look on Adora’s face.***A rewrite of Glimmer and Adora’s argument in Season 4, Episode 8, Boys’ Night Out.
Relationships: Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	(Trying Our) Best

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I have been out of the game for a very long time. Hello to everyone new here! This is my first fic in over a year, and tbh it’s the first one I’ve put any real effort into in over 3 years. So, apologies in advance for my rustiness. 
> 
> This is going to be a rewrite of the scene between Glimmer and Adora in S4E8. Well, kind of. More like the scene is extended. I’m just pretending the rest of Boy’s Night Out isn’t happening, you’ll see what I mean. 
> 
> This author’s note is long enough (and the one at the end will be even longer oof), so let’s get into it!

It had been a long few days. Every hour seemed to add something new to Glimmer’s plate. Some new setback for the Rebellion, some new way one of her subjects went behind her back. There was always something. And now, this. She’d just wanted to see Mermista, just for a couple minutes to see if she was okay, and now standing before her, mop in hand, was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

“I was just checking up on Mermista, but clearly _you_ have it covered.” Glimmer hated sounding like this, like--like a child. But she couldn’t help herself. She had been spending _weeks_ trying to keep herself from an outburst, because that’s what a queen did. She refused to give in to her anger, because that’s what a queen did. She was the ruler of Etheria now. A leader. She did not _make scenes._ That’s what her mother had always told her. Glimmer had to hold in her true feelings, but sometimes a bit of that bubbling anger would slip through the cracks.

She turned to leave the room, she’d seen enough, which these days didn’t take much. She would not make a scene. But she couldn’t promise that if she were alone with Adora.

Adora had also seen enough. These last few weeks, she’d watched as Glimmer’s comments grew in frequency, as she started to wear a scowl on her face more often. Glimmer was clearly upset, and now it was obvious exactly who she was upset with. Now, it seemed like she couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with Adora. At first, Adora had just wanted to let her walk away, hoping that she would cool off, but she had been doing that for the past few weeks with no improvement to Glimmer’s temper. It was time to fix this.

After watching Glimmer turn and walk away, always the confrontational type, Adora decided to follow.

Allowing the door to shut behind her, Adora quickly caught up with Glimmer. She grabbed her wrist, “Glimmer, what is going on with you? I know things are bad right now, but we can fix it.”

_There it is again,_ fix _it._ Glimmer thought. She didn’t know when she started having such an adverse reaction to the word. Before her mom…left, Glimmer had felt optimistic too. But now, all she could feel was rage and despair. Her mother was gone, and she never even got to say goodbye. The one person who did was standing behind her, grabbing her wrist while saying useless words she had used to believe in.

Of course, Glimmer didn’t think about any of this. She’d started seeing red the moment Adora suggested “fixing” anything. Yanking her wrist free from Adora’s grip, she practically spat, “Why is that always your answer to everything?”

If Glimmer had been a little calmer, had been a little more composed, she would’ve seen how Adora flinched from her, she would’ve known that she was being unfair. But she wasn’t calm, and she wasn’t composed. She was bursting with barely restrained emotion. Her anger had finally reached its boiling point.

Adora was taken aback because although she’d always known Glimmer to have a bit of fiery streak, she’d hardly ever seen her so furious before, and what was worse was that that anger was directed at her. Why? Because she was doing the only thing she could? The only thing she really knew how to do?

If Adora had been a little calmer, had been a little more composed, she would’ve realized that now was the time to de-escalate. But she wasn’t calm, and she wasn’t composed. As soon as she recovered from her surprise, she matched Glimmer’s anger with her own, responding, “Because that’s the only thing we can _do._ ”

Far beyond listening to Adora’s logical thinking, Glimmer felt herself finally being unburdened from the stress of the last few weeks, “Things are worse than ever. The Horde has Salineas, the coast is falling. We haven’t _fixed_ anything!”

As Glimmer was finally beginning to vent her frustrations, Adora found herself doing the same. Her composure broke, “That’s why we need to work together instead of you pushing us away, and if you just _listened_ to us, you’d know that!”

“Just because you’re She-Ra doesn’t mean you can order people around!”

Glimmer and Adora’s voices grew louder and increasingly unrestrained. Each was trying to talk over the other, causing a cacophony of shouts to ring throughout the halls. As their voices heightened, so too did their frustrations.

“You just keep pushing us away!”

“I am Queen of Etheria, okay? Not—”

“—and going rogue and leaving! What are we supposed to do with that?” Adora was growing tired of the shouting match. Any ideas of fixing this conflict between them seemed to have been shot down, and she didn’t know what to do about that. It was easy to see that Glimmer was frustrated—they both were—but why was she blaming it on everyone else, on her? “We’re trying our best!”

Honestly, Glimmer was also tired of shouting, but she was not one to admit defeat, even in an argument with someone who was supposed to be her ally, her friend. So, she kept shouting, pulling from all the different sources of her anger, which, in turn, increased her blindness to their meanings. It almost felt like arguing with her mom again. Her mom who was gone, which, in the deepest corners of her mind, didn’t sit right with Glimmer, because Angella wasn’t a fighter. She wasn’t the one on the front lines, one of the ones who would have to make such a sacrifice. But She-Ra was.

“You think you can just transform into She-Ra, and hit things with your sword, and it will _fix_ everything! Well, guess what: It’s not working!”

“Why are you blaming this all on me? It’s not my fault that Salineas fell! The Horde manipulated _all_ of us!” Adora hated fighting with Glimmer like this. It made her think of things, of people, that she did not want to think about. She could tell that her momentary anger was just that, temporary. Without the barrier of rage, Glimmer’s words had started to stick. It was true that they were all tricked by Double Trouble, but in the end, she was She-Ra, she should’ve known better, should’ve _been_ better.

Meanwhile, Glimmer’s mind was still pulling for more words to say, more fuel for her argument. It had found her memories of that awful portal, of She-Ra walking up to her, looking so defeated, after Glimmer, in her last moment of hopeful innocence, decided that she wanted to find her mom. Of realizing in that moment that the last time she ever got to see her mom, her mother was looking at her with such desperation and distress, and all Glimmer could do was watch as she teleported away.

Why couldn’t they stop Catra from pulling the lever? Why couldn’t _She-Ra_ stop Catra from pulling the lever? Adora was one of Catra’s oldest friends, she should’ve been able to stop her. And yet she didn’t. The lever was pulled, and her mother was taken from her, in what for her were nothing but mere moments.

These were the words Glimmer had not said to anyone, and didn’t want to say to anyone because she knew how horrible they really were. But any sort of courtesy was gone now. Her mind was careless, reckless. It latched on to any thought it could and brought it to her mouth.

“She-Ra was supposed to _save_ us. But the Rebellion’s in a worse place than ever since _you_ showed up!” Adora almost didn’t have enough energy to respond to that. It was almost like Glimmer had read her mind. Unbeknownst to others, she too had constantly been thinking of the portal. Thinking of her own failure. But she was trying to make up for it.

“I’m trying my best. Why can’t you see that?”

Glimmer could only hardly process what Adora said. She was too busy seething in anger in the fog of her own mind. Adora was trying her best. Well then why wasn’t her mother here?

Her mind had found its ammunition, and for just a second, less than that even, Glimmer wanted Adora to hurt like she did.

“Well, maybe _your best_ isn’t good enough. If it was, my mother would still be here!”

It took Glimmer less than a second to realize what she’d just said. But she hated herself for taking that long. She was horrified by what she said. And she was even more horrified once she saw the look on Adora’s face.

Tears immediately sprung to Adora’s eyes as she took a shaking breath inward. So, it was true then. She really had failed. Angella was gone and it was her fault. If only she had done something, _anything_ different, and now she’d lost yet another friend because of her own mistakes. She truly was useless. And look at her now, about to cry. She wanted—no, _needed_ —to get away. But she was paralyzed, all she could do was stare at Glimmer blankly.

Seeing Adora’s blank, tear-filled stare, Glimmer regretted her words immediately. But there was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to make it better. She’d said the worst thing possible, revealed just what kind of person she truly was.

“Adora—Adora, I’m sorry…” Glimmer didn’t know what to say. How do you apologize for saying something like that? And it wasn’t even a fluke, was it? She meant it when she said it. How do you take something like that back? She stepped forward, wanting to comfort Adora, but she didn’t get the chance. All she was able to do was watch as Adora flinched back, then ran away.

* * *

There were many gardens in the palace, most of them secluded. Adora had found this one only a short while ago, while exploring the palace. That was a different time though. It was before Angella sacrificed herself. Before the portal. Before she realized how far Catra’s hatred really went.

How was she ever going to make up for her failure? Glimmer was right, Adora thought, everything that had happened since she showed up had been her fault. She was She-Ra, she was supposed to save people. But it was only a short time after she’d taken up the mantle that Entrapta was presumed dead, and then she was joined with the enemy. And now it was like she hadn’t gotten any better. Angella was gone. She’d failed. The Rebellion, Bright Moon, Glimmer, anyone, everyone.

Adora sat in the secluded garden, hoping that no one would think to come here. All she wanted was to be alone. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this.

A part of her berated herself for showing such weakness in front of Glimmer. Another part berated herself for berating herself. Why was she thinking as if she was still in the Horde?

Adora curled her arms around her legs. The tears had stopped flowing some time ago, but what she was feeling was far from okay. She wasn’t sure what it was. Was it anger? Because how could Glimmer say that to her? Even though she thought she heard some faint sound of apology coming from her friend (though it was mostly covered up by the pounding in her ears and the shouting in her brain telling her to run), she still felt hurt.

And it hurt most because Glimmer’s words rang true to her.

She wanted to turn all of this off. All of this thinking, all of this feeling. She needed to be there for the Rebellion. For Mermista, who just lost her kingdom. She was She-Ra, and that’s who the Rebellion needed. Not Adora, the upset and conflicted girl. They needed a leader, and if Glimmer wasn’t going to fulfill the role then Adora would. It was all she could do; it was all she could give.

Her resolve hardened, Adora allowed herself a brief moment to collect herself, so that when she returned, she would be ready for whatever decisions she had to make next, whatever move the Horde decided to make. She listened to the sounds of the garden, which was mostly just the sounds of a gentle breeze blowing across the grass.

Adora didn’t know when to get up, and that is where Glimmer found her, still sitting and listening.

Glimmer stood at the entrance to the garden, unsure of how to proceed. Just a moment ago, she’d been telling herself that she was finding Adora so that she could apologize to her, but that had also been increasingly not becoming her actual goal. She didn’t even know that Adora knew about this place, she had never seen her wandering around the castle. She didn’t really see much of her anymore.

She could tell that Adora didn’t know she was there. And seeing Adora sitting there, clearly upset but at least calm, Glimmer didn’t want to interrupt. However, she’d done enough running away. It’s what started this whole thing. Maybe she should just talk to her, she thought.

Swallowing any doubts, Glimmer made her way over to Adora. She needed to do something about this. At the very least, having the two leaders of the rebellion being at odds with each other like this wasn’t good. And, besides any tactical considerations, she felt awful.

“Adora?” Glimmer sat next to her, giving her some space while also opening herself up to the (hopefully) coming conversation.

Clearly, Adora didn’t know that Glimmer had come in, if the quick glance up with wide eyes was any indication, though she moved back to her original position just as swiftly.

Silence fell between them.

“I’m sorry,” the pair said simultaneously.

Glimmer was shocked, “What? You have nothing to apologize for! I was the one who was out of line!”

Adora shook her head, “But you were still right. This is all my fault. It’s my responsibility.”

“What? No, that’s not true,” Glimmer already felt like maybe this was a mistake. They were just going to argue again, but she couldn’t leave her friend like this.

“Yes, it is,” Adora turned to look at Glimmer, and Glimmer saw the most depressed expression that she’d ever seen on her friend’s face. “Let’s just face it, I’m not good at this. The Horde grows closer every day, and I’m not getting any better at transforming into She-Ra, or using the sword, or anything.” Adora sighed, “I couldn’t stop the Horde from taking Salineas.”

“That’s not—” Glimmer was interrupted by what came next.

“And I couldn’t stop Catra,” Adora said, briefly burying her head in her hands, “I’ve had opportunity after opportunity and yet…why wasn’t I good enough for her?”

Glimmer moved in front of Adora and put her hands on her shoulders, “Adora, look at me.” She reluctantly followed directions. “What Catra did, that’s not your fault. None of it is. You tried to get her to come with you, and you tried to stop her. But everything she’s done, that’s on her, not on you. And,” Glimmer sighed, forcing any last bit of misdirected anger out with the sudden expulsion, “I’m so sorry for making you think that it was.”

Before Adora could respond, Glimmer hugged her. Adora wanted to say something, but then she heard Glimmer’s crying beside her. “I’m just really sorry. I don’t know what’s been wrong with me. I’ve been saying all this stuff that I don’t even mean that I know is hurtful.”

Adora finally returned the embrace, “Glimmer, really, it’s okay. Lately there’s just been a lot, it’s stressful. We’re all on the edge.”

“But no one would say what I said to you. What I did, it’s unforgivable.”

Adora released herself from the hug so she could look Glimmer in the eye, “Don’t say that.”

“Why? I’m not wrong. It was so messed up, and I know that you probably hate me now.”

“What? I don’t hate you.”

“But what about what I said?”

“I mean yeah, it hurt, and I think I may need a little more time to deal with it, but it’s not unforgivable. Even though it hurt, I know that you didn’t mean it.”

“But I just…I have to be able to make it up to you somehow.” 

“Well, fine, how about this? Let’s just talk about it?” Adora felt a little out of her element, and the crooked smile on her face proved it. Dealing with feelings like this was not at all a usual thing for her, but she had a gut feeling that things would be better if she and Glimmer were just honest with each other.

Glimmer chuckled, “You’re starting to sound like Bow,” she sighed, “I’ve been a real jerk to him too. I need to apologize.”

She slid back onto the bench, sitting side by side with Adora in an uneasy stillness. She looked out at the garden, unsure. Like Adora, she wasn’t one to lay all her thoughts and feelings out for everyone to see. But she had to try. Their friendship was something Glimmer valued deeply, even if she’d been neglecting it and taking it for granted recently.

“You know you mean a lot to me, right?” Glimmer started. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Adora as she said this, because she was sure that Adora probably thought she was lying. “What I’m trying to say is, I never should have said those things to you. It’s just, with everything going on…I’ve been forced into doing something I never wanted to do, being Queen. I thought I would get more time with Mom, I thought she’d teach me more about the role. And now I’m here and I don’t know what to do.”

Adora put a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder, “That’s okay, we can figure it out together, you, me, and Bow.”

Glimmer sighed, “That’s what I want. That’s what I _wanted_ when this all happened too…but somehow along the way I felt like I had to do it alone. Because I’m the Queen. I’m the one who has to make the decisions. But every time I do, every time someone looks to me, all I feel is like my mother. And the last time I saw her…I was basically betraying her. I don’t think I’ve been able to deal with that,” Glimmer turned to look over at Adora, “I don’t know if I ever will.” She can feel the tears coming back again, blurring her vision. 

Adora shifted, removing her hand from Glimmer’s shoulder, and the girl feared that she’d said too much. Leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest, Adora looked up at the sky. Except it wasn’t the beautiful blue skies of Bright Moon she was looking at, not really. Her eyes were distant, focused on another time, another dimension, really, one where she looked up and saw a winged woman fixing the mess that she had created.

Pulling herself back to reality, Adora tried to be there for her friend, though she wished she was better at words. “Listen, I don’t exactly have the best experience when it comes to mother figures, but with the limited knowledge I do have, I know that Angella…she’d be proud of you.”

Glimmer didn’t bother to stop the tears anymore, “How can she be? Everyone wants me to be perfect, and I’m not that. I push people away, I say awful things, I run this rebellion into the ground—”

“Hey, hey, that’s not true!” Adora interjected, “No one’s asking you to be perfect. Bow and I, Perfuma, Frosta, no one here wants you to be perfect.”

“I know I’ve said it before, but I really am sorry Adora. I’m going to do better. No more of this, of letting things get so bad that I almost lose one of my best friends.”

Hearing Glimmer’s words, Adora was pulled from the conversation into her own thoughts. She’d been spending all this time wanting Glimmer to let them in, but had she been doing that? All the things she’d been feeling, trying to repress by focusing on the work that was leading the rebellion, maybe it would be better if she talked about them too.

The problem was that she was even worse than Glimmer when it came to talking about her own issues. Glimmer had been raised in Bright Moon, had an environment where emotions were accepted and appreciated.

Adora didn’t have that. No emotions were desired in the Fright Zone, minus perhaps anger, because at least that could be used to drive the war effort. It was even worse, being under the watchful eye of Shadow Weaver.

All of her conditioning didn’t make the desire to maybe get some of these feelings off her chest go away, though. At least, the ones she had words for.

The conversation lulled; the silence only filled by the sounds of grass blowing. Glimmer contemplated leaving. She’d said all she could say, and perhaps Adora simply didn’t want to talk anymore. Right before she thought of standing, Adora let a breath out, like she’d been holding it in.

“Can I tell you something?” Adora said, not meeting Glimmer’s eyes, “I haven’t told anyone this before.” Her voice was small, high, almost a little bit desperate. Quite unlike Adora, Glimmer thought.

“Yeah, you can tell me anything,” Glimmer responded, perhaps a little too forcefully, “We are pretty much laying it all out here now.”

_Okay, here goes._ “I don’t feel like She-Ra.”

That definitely wasn’t what Glimmer expected to hear, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, every time I become She-Ra, it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like me. I’m supposed to be She-Ra, but it doesn’t feel like that. I don’t know if that even makes sense, I don’t know how to explain it. And I hate that I feel such a _disconnect_ with her, because the Rebellion needs She-Ra, and if I can’t do that…” Adora already regretted going down this train of thought, but it was too late now. Too late to stop the words from pouring out of her mouth, as nonsensical as they felt to her.

Glimmer really wanted to push, ask Adora to finish the sentence, but seeing the way Adora kept changing her position, shifting uncomfortably as she spoke, she could tell that maybe this was enough opening up for her today. After all, she knew that Adora was not one to be emotionally vulnerable. Another reason to hate the Horde, if anything.

Proud of Adora for opening up as she was, Glimmer didn’t really know how to respond. Hearing Adora talk about this though, it made Glimmer almost laugh. Not at her, of course, but at the seeming hilarity of it all. These two girls, sitting here, crying, having this hard conversation, they were the ones who out of everyone had the most resting on their shoulders. The Queen leading a rebellion. An ancient warrior. And yet, right now, it didn’t seem like they were any of their titles. Funny, how things turn out.

“It seems like no one is good at being who they’re supposed to be. I’m not my mom. You’re not the She-Ra that Light Hope wants,” Glimmer looked back at Adora, “But maybe we don’t have to be. Maybe we should stop trying to be things we’re not.”

“Who’s starting to sound like Bow now?”

“Oh, shut up,” Glimmer playfully punched Adora, earning a laugh from her friend.

Adora’s laugh slowly tapered off, “You’re probably right though. Maybe I’ve been focusing too hard on what I’m _supposed_ to be, not what I am.”

“And what you are is a great She-Ra, no matter what Light Hope says.” Glimmer said.

“And what _you_ are is a great queen,” Adora added, “no matter how much we may smother you.”

“I would slightly appreciate it if you did less of that.”

Adora grinned, a hint of playful smugness attached, “I’ll make a note.”

And then, all of a sudden, Adora felt arms wrap around her. Despite being startled, she returned the embrace quickly, glad that things seemed to be looking up for her and Glimmer’s friendship again.

The embrace wasn’t long lived, because suddenly there was a third person in the garden.

“The boys are in trouble!”

Both Glimmer and Adora flinched at the noise and turned to look at its source. It was Mermista, looking determined.

“Wha-“ Glimmer started, before Mermista interrupted her.

“A seagull told me!” She continued, “I may have lost my kingdom, but I’m not losing _anyone_ else. Sea-Ra is back in action!” It was only then that she realized that she may have intruded on a private moment, “Am I interrupting something?”

Glimmer and Adora exchanged a look, with Glimmer standing up and stating, “Nope, I think we’re all good, right Adora?” She extended a hand to help her friend up.

Adora smiled and took her hand, “Yep, never better.”

Mermista grabbed the pair, “Great, let’s go!”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! Thanks for reading! Before I get into the really long explanation that y’all may skip, I do have a question: what did you think of the writing style? I tried something a little different with being very in-depth about each character’s thought processes. 
> 
> Now is the part where I go into a very in-depth explanation that you can read if you desire. 
> 
> The reason I rewrote this scene is because the decision to abruptly end such an emotional moment with humor has always bothered me. Also, we never really got closure between Glimmer and Adora after this, and I like doing character studies. Hopefully I did them justice. 
> 
> I’ve never been Glimmer’s biggest fan (though writing this fic actually helped with that), but I’m hoping that that didn’t come through with my writing. One of my pet peeves is when a story is supposed to be about two characters, but you can easily tell which character the writer likes more because of how they treat them and go into their thought processes. So, I’m hoping I didn’t do that here, because that would make me a hypocrite lol. 
> 
> This was my first time writing in the She-Ra fandom, which is another reason why I’m a little nervous about my portrayals of the characters. I have a lot of thoughts about certain characters (namely Adora) because I find them really interesting, but it can be hard to write those out. 
> 
> I know that the way I wrote this means that the rest of season 4 and consequently season 5 would be different, but let’s not think about that now. I have no plans to continue this because even though season 5 would probably be different, I don’t think it would be different enough to warrant a whole series, and also I’m not very good at long-form fiction, I’m afraid. 
> 
> I will say though that I kind of purposefully didn’t go too deep into some of the real complexities in Adora’s character like her self-sacrificing tendencies because 1. I think that’s better for scenes with either Bow (I believe in Bow supremacy) or Catra, and 2. I don’t think you can unpack that much trauma in a single conversation haha. Also, I kind of purposefully wrote it in a way where Glimmer’s issues are on the road to being resolved, while Adora’s stay kind of stagnant and are avoided (and perhaps worsen in some ways, since Glimmer here doesn’t really give her that validation that she’s a person beyond She-Ra, beyond what she can give to people). 
> 
> In terms of future plans, I’m thinking of maybe doing self-indulgent rewrites of other things in the series that I didn’t like (*cough cough* what they did with Catra in season 3 *cough*, because even though I love her redemption and Catradora a lot, what she did there was highkey irredeemable imo). 
> 
> Anyway, this is an entirely too long author’s note so I’m just gonna dip now.
> 
> (EDIT 3/15: lol i forgot this but follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/icantseeforfree) if you want)


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